We all have that moment in life that makes us sit back & wonder why we are on the path we are & what we need to do to change it. It happens to all of us – what makes the difference between us is whether we decide the changes are just too hard so keep going the way we are, or if we grab change and run with it! I’ve had this a few times in my life, but a few years ago, I decided to grab change and run with it!
Was it scary? Yes. Was there times when I wondered what I was doing? Yes. Would it have been easier at times to just stay doing what I was already doing knowing that I could have been doing better? Yes!
Rolling with the punches…
Since I was 14 years old, I had suffered from Endometriosis. At 16 years old my doctors told me that I would be lucky if I was ever able to have children. Being so young, I let my mind-set be defeated and resided to the fact I would never conceive, but after years of misery, 9 operations, and much to mine and my husband’s shock and surprise, we unexpectedly fell pregnant when I was 29. We were so excited! Now, 2 children later our lives have been a whirlwind of experiences; lots of love, laughter & tears.
When our boys were young we were lucky enough to have our own business which allowed me to spend quality time with our boys until we sent them to daycare when they turned one. I honestly thought I had this thing called 'motherhood' down pact, then I got hit with post natal depression with our second son. It didn't hit me straight away, and I was struggling, really struggling. I was so determined to prove that I could 'do it all' though and honestly thought that if I just carried on and kept going that it would go away.
DENIAL BIG TIME!
I became so depressed I was teary all the time, didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, and I was constantly angry with everybody all the time... even the kids! It was hard but I got to a point when I knew I had to admit to myself that I needed some help so went to see my local GP. Things were good for a while, things were going great. So, like most people, I stopped the medication I was taking to help me because I once again had this 'motherhood' thing down pact. But slowly and surely we started noticing the signs again. So again, after a few arguments, tears and swallowing of pride I went off again to get some help!
During that time also, the financial recession hit and a lot of business owners really struggled - and we were one of them. We were a young family of four, a mum with depression, not much to our name, and were really struggling to see how on earth things were going to get better from here. So, for no other reason apart from that fact that there was no other alternative, we pulled together and "sorted our shit out" as my husband says. Was it hard? Yes! Were there times we were wondering if we could get past it? Yes! Was giving up an option? No!
We did get through it, the business picked up again, I got my depression sorted and even did a decathlon to keep motivated. It was such a great feeling having my three boys cheer me on from the sidelines.
Life was great for a while - work was good, we were happy and making the most of life.
Then in March 2015 I started suffering from stomach pains and got admitted into hospital for investigation. After them misdiagnosing my problem (they unnecessarily removed my appendix!) After being bedridden for months with pain I ended up seeing a specialist and I managed to convince her to carry out a full hysterectomy on me. I was 38 years old but I was over the problems! I had put up with them for years, and whenever the pains came along it would be debilitating for weeks on end. I couldn't do it anymore - I had kids, I had a husband to also think about as this just didn't effect me, it effected my whole family. Big decision, but I was ready.
We had a family holiday to Queenstown booked for July 2015 so I decided to have the surgery once we returned home. We have always loved Queenstown, so much so that we decided we were going to move there in the next 5 years. Whilst recovering from a successful surgery, we had a discussion about moving and thought to ourselves -
why are we waiting 5 years?
What is going to be different in 5 years time from now?
What is actually stopping us from moving now?
So, we decided to bring our plan forward 5 years and make the move as soon as possible. We put our house on the market, found a house to buy in Queenstown, and at end of November 2015 loaded all of our belongings into a truck and drove 3 days to start our new adventure in a brand new city where we knew absolutely nobody - we just knew we didn't want to be where we were anymore.
It was at that moment I vividly remember having a discussion with my husband. I had recovered from my surgery, we had moved cities, and I felt so lost and confused internally. Both our boys were at school already and I was at a time of my life for a new beginning and I just so desperately wanted to do something that I loved, something that lit me up, something that felt great! Trouble was, was that I had spent so many years being somebody who I thought I was supposed to be - portraying the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, that I had truly lost who I was. I didn't know what excited me, I didn't know what I was passionate about, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I just knew that I was ready to be happy within myself and start fresh. I just wanted to do something that I loved!
So I hired my first Coach. Not even knowing what I wanted to do in life - I hired her, I invested in her, I learnt so much from her ... and so my ever lasting journey of self discovery, coaching and helping woman who are just like I was, began.
As I said, we all have that moment in life that makes us sit back & wonder why we are on the path we are & what we need to do to change it. It happens to all of us – what makes the difference is whether we decide the changes are just too hard so we keep going the way we are, or if we grab change and run with it!
I decided to grab change and run with it – you should too!
Life is short - we are meant to be happy. Its time to start living
YOUR life on YOUR terms!